What’s the Point?

“Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord of hosts, the whole earth is full of His glory.” -Isaiah 6:3

Good evening son,

You and I recently had a conversation about the battle between good and evil. We discussed how in recent years, evil has become more noticeable and more aggressive, if only in the headlines we read and how we’ve experienced it in this country, at least compared to what used to be not that many years ago. What I experienced fifty years ago and what you experienced twenty five years ago, is nothing compared to what your children are facing and will face today and in the future. During our conversation, I mentioned that Satan and God both desire our worship, and that this battle between good and evil is the result. You then asked, rhetorically I imagine, “What’s the point?” The short answer is, that in and through it all, God receives glory.

King Solomon struggled with the same question, and wrote about it in the book of Ecclesiastes. After he’d asked what’s the point or why, over and over again, he concluded that everything in this world is vanity, or meaningless, but at the very end of the book he wrote this, “The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep his commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14) Since I’ve had time to ponder your question, here’s a longer answer with a bigger picture view as I understand it. To better understand this battle, you must first recognize the difference between the spiritual world, of which you’re familiar, and the physical world, in which we live. One being eternal and one being temporal.

Because of John’s writings in Revelation, we get a glimpse of how things are in that spiritual realm and how they ought to be here. Taken to heaven in the spirit, John wrote of what he saw there, of how all creation, constant and never ceasing, gives glory and honor and praise to the God of the universe. All creation, all living creatures, giving him who sits on the throne, glory and honor and thanks. Why? There are two main reasons. One, because of who God is:

“Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God, the Almighty, who was and who is and who is to come.” (Revelation 4:8)

God has no beginning, no end. He is. Time was invented for our benefit. With God, there is no time. As he told Moses to tell the sons of Israel on whose behalf he was sent, “‘I AM has sent me to you.'” God has always been and will always be. There is only one Lord God Almighty, and he has existed forever.

The second reason God deserves all honor and glory and praise is because of what he’s done:

“Worthy art Thou, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for Thou didst create all things, and because of Thy will they existed, and were created.” (Revelation 4:11)

So, God created everything, for his glory. All the stars and planets and universes and solar systems, and every living thing, including and especially humans, he created. For his glory. Although there are many verses in scripture that describe God’s glory in creation, Paul sums it up well in Colossians 1:16. Speaking of Jesus, who was there at creation, Paul says, “For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities–all things have been created by Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” We have no problem worshiping, praising, honoring, adoring, rock stars, athletes, movie stars, and British royalty, simply because they can dunk a basketball or sing or act, and yet, how much more should we honor the God of all creation? The whole earth declares his glory, so why is it so hard for humans? I’ve described the good, all things God, but what about the evil? It is that evil which explains the answer to the previous question of why humans struggle so much to declare God’s glory.

Evil started in heaven, with that being we call Satan or Lucifer or the devil. At one point, Satan wanted to make himself equal with God, to steal some of God’s glory. Here is how Satan is described in Isaiah 14: 12-15:

“How you have fallen from heaven, O star of the morning, son of the dawn! You have been cut down to the earth, you who have weakened the nations! But you said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God, and I will sit on the mount of the assembly in the recesses of the north. I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’ Nevertheless you will be thrust down to Sheol, to the recesses of the pit.”

God said this to Isaiah the prophet, “I am the Lord, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, nor My praise to graven images.” And because Satan tried to steal God’s glory, he was cast out of heaven. Here is how it is described in Revelation 12:7-9:

And there was war in heaven, Michael and his angels waging war with the dragon. And the dragon and his angels waged war, and they were not strong enough, and there was no longer a place found for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.

So, even though Satan was cast down to the earth, his desire for glory was not satisfied. His first act, after God had placed his creation in the garden, humans made in his image, was to corrupt Adam and Eve by deception and lying, as Satan is the father of lies. He questioned Eve as to what God had instructed her about eating from the tree in the middle of the garden and what would happen if she did, and then deceived her with the big lie, “You surely shall not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” And thus, sin entered into the world, separating man from God. And Satan continues to deceive man, in an effort to destroy him. He knows his eventual destination, hell, and wants to take as many humans with him as possible. Satan brought to earth all death, destruction, sickness, sorrow, pain, and suffering. All evil belongs to him.

Paul describes the spiritual world, and the ongoing war, in Ephesians 6:12, For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

This battle rages all around us. The book of Job gives a glimpse into how Satan tries to turn humans away from God, and how he can only do as much as God allows him. And yet, after all Satan did to him and his family, Job did not lose his integrity and sin against the Lord. And through it all, God was glorified. And after a few thousand years of Satan corrupting the earth and man, God placed himself in the middle of it all, in the form of his Son, Jesus Christ, to solve the issue once and for all, to reconcile man back to himself. And what did Satan do? He tempted Jesus by offering him all the kingdoms of the world if he would just worship him (Matthew 4). But Jesus resisted. And when Jesus hung on the cross, Satan thought he’d won. But because of the resurrection, Satan and death were defeated, and Satan no longer has the power over man that he once did. We no longer have to fear the one who can destroy the body, but cannot destroy the soul.

So, what about America in the year 2024? Why is evil so prevalent now more than in the past. Jesus talked about what happens when a demon is driven from a man in Matthew 12:43-45, “When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through dry places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with itself seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there. And the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it be also with this evil generation.” Year after year, more Americans turn away from God and go their own way. I believe a nation is much like that demon possessed man described by Jesus. As the nation turns away from God, his Spirit is quenched and loses its influence, and the resulting void is filled by evil spirits. We can see it happening all around us. A nation once filled with Christians, serious about their faith, a people who once gave glory to God, who once worshipped him and honored him, no longer do, and the country isn’t the same.

And in the midst of it, Christians suffer. Much like they have for centuries. Paul wrote to the Philippian church, encouraging them to, prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world... (Philippians 2:15) If we do, this too will glorify God.

Paul also wrote in Romans that our unrighteousness demonstrates the righteousness of God. Put another way, without evil, we wouldn’t know good. Apart from God, mankind cannot do good. Apart from God, man has no morals. It is only because of God’s influence that we aren’t living in a dystopian hell on earth. But as mankind chooses to turn away from God, as he has so many times throughout history, Satan becomes emboldened and evil flourishes.

So, what does it all mean? What’s the point? The end of the story has been written. Jesus will return and Satan will be cast into the abyss for 1000 years and then into the lake of fire and brimstone, to be tormented forever more (Revelation 20). And those who choose Satan over God will join him there. However, those who choose the Savior of the world, Jesus, will reign with him forever in God’s presence, in heaven. Meanwhile, Satan tries to deceive as many people as possible. And every time a sinner repents and gives his life to the Lord, God is glorified. And every time anyone resists the devil’s temptations, God is glorified. And when a man lives a life of integrity, as Job did, not letting Satan deceive him, God is glorified.

Paraphrasing your brother, this life is just preparation for a destination. The sad truth is, each of us chooses his own destination. God does not force us to give him glory and worship him, he gives us free will, but he does force us to choose. Over time, God has demonstrated who he is, good. Satan has demonstrated who he is, evil. The choice is stark. It isn’t ambiguous. And when someone chooses Jesus, God is glorified.

That’s the point, my son.

 If you enjoyed reading this post, you might also enjoy my book, Pondering God.

The Director

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players;” -William Shakespeare

A Story

With production nearing its final stages, the director gathers all the actors and crew together to review his final checklist. Surrounding him are men and women, in costume, ready to perform. With script in hand, he barks out commands and shouts questions, ensuring all the players know their lines and everything is in its proper place.

At one point, the director claps his hands and shouts into his megaphone, “I need to see all the soldiers first. Come on, all you Roman soldiers gather around.” Several men, wearing helmets and breastplates, with swords and spears in hand, circle around the director. “Okay, men. We’ve already been over the scene where you arrest Jesus, but I want to finalize a couple of the other scenes. So, when Jesus is in custody, awaiting trial, what are you men doing?”

One of the soldiers speaks up. “We’re to give him a beating.” Some of the men laugh, but quickly silence themselves when they receive the director’s angry glare.

Temporarily chastened, the soldiers stand around and wait, while the director flips through his script, reading the minute details, and then says, “Yes, that’s the gist of it. You give him a beating, but that’s not all. It says right here you’re to mock him, spit on him, strike him in the face…” He pauses as he reads further. “And it also says you’re to pluck out his beard.” Moans are heard coming from the soldiers. The director shakes his head and thinks, Pluck out his beard. That’s rough. He refers back to the script and continues, “Oh, hold on. Before you do all that, you must first scourge him.”

One of the soldiers says, “What’s a scourge?”

The director says, “You know, one of those whips with bits of stone embedded in the tips. It’s designed so that when you whip him with it, the sharp pieces rip his skin as each stroke of the whip is retrieved. The script says that his appearance must be marred. Can you gentlemen make sure his appearance is marred?”

In unison, all the men cry out, “Yes, sir!”

The director continues, “Okay I think we’ve got that down. So, the next scene is when he’s on the cross. Do we have a cross?” Someone in the back affirms there is a cross. The director reads more of the script. “It says here, he’s to be with criminals in his death. Do we have any criminals scheduled for crucifixion?”

One of his assistants says, “Yes, sir. There are two criminals scheduled for death on the same day.”

“Perfect! Okay then, we’ll have the two criminals hanging on either side of him. That will make a nice shot as the sun goes down in the background. Now, there’s one last scene for you men. When Jesus hangs on the cross, there are several things you must do. First, after hanging in the hot sun, he’s going to be thirsty and want something to drink. You’re to give him vinegar.”

One of the soldiers says, “Vinegar! Why vinegar?”

The director glares at the man, while slapping the script against his leg. “Because the script says so, that’s why!”

Noticing one of the men holding a spear, the directors says to him, “At some point, you take your spear and thrust it into his side. And make sure there’s plenty of spilled blood.”

One of the other men says, “We’re supposed to break his legs, too.”

The director shakes his head. “No, no, no. You don’t break his legs.”

The man hangs his head and says, “But why? We always break their legs. It helps speed up the dying process.”

The director says, “I don’t care what you always do, it says right here, no broken bones.” There’s a bit of mumbling, and as the men begin to disperse, the director says, “Oh, and one last thing,” as he grabs three stragglers, “I want you three men to cast lots for his clothes. Got it?” The three men nod their heads and the soldiers all fade into the crowd.

The director then calls out on his megaphone, “I need to see Judas.” When Judas arrives, the director says, “Now, you’ve been chosen to betray Jesus. How will you go about it?”

Judas says, “Well, I planned to go directly to the chief priests and the elders and offer to betray Jesus into their hands, for a price of course. I’m going to ask for a king’s ransom, since they seem determined to arrest him.” The director listens to Judas while reading the script at the same time. “You can ask for whatever you want, Judas, but it says right here, they’re only going to offer you thirty pieces of silver.” Judas, disappointed, shuffles off to await his big moment.

The director then calls out, “I need to see the disciples.” Once the disciples are gathered around, the director says, “Now, when Jesus is arrested, I want you men to scatter and hide from the authorities. And from that moment on, you’re to observe from a distance. You’re all afraid. Got it?” Peter starts to say something, but John elbows him, and Peter remains silent. The disciples all nod their heads and shuffle away.

The director now calls out, “I need to see the crowd. Those listed on the script as “members of the crowd,” please report to me now.” A few minutes pass and when the director is surrounded by a crowd of extras, he says, “You people have a couple of crucial scenes. First, when Pilate brings Jesus out and presents him to you, all of you are to shout out, “Crucify him!” repeatedly. Whatever Pilate says, you repeat that line. And do so vehemently, as if you despise him. This needs to sound authentic.”

One man in the crowd raises his hand. The director says, “What?” The man says, “Why should we despise him? He never did anything to us, except heal us and feed us and teach us. Why should we hate him without cause?”

Exasperated, the director flings his script onto the dusty ground. “You don’t need a reason to hate him! You people will do exactly as the script says. You’ll gnash your teeth and scream for his death, like those who despise the man. This is a crucial scene and I need everyone to feel the emotion. Do you understand me?” The crowd mumbles their assent.

The director continues, “Now when Jesus is hanging on the cross, you are to mock him and jeer at him and say, ‘Save yourself! You said you’re the Son of God, come down off that cross.’ And then add, ‘He trusts in God, let Him deliver Him now, if He takes pleasure in Him.'” And looking to his left, he says, “You two criminals, while hanging on the cross, you’re to join in with the crowd and say the same things they’re saying.” The two criminals shrug their shoulders and nod their heads.

After several meetings, the day is nearly done. But the director still has one more player to meet. Jesus. Before he raises his megaphone to call out for him, Jesus is already standing before him. “Oh, it’s you. I assume you don’t have any questions, but I thought I would go over your scenes with you before the call to action. You don’t have many lines, but let’s run through this together, shall we?” Jesus nods. “So, when you are arrested, you offer no resistance, and when you’re brought before the authorities, you don’t defend yourself, but remain silent. And you have several key lines when you’re on the cross. Are you comfortable with your lines?” Jesus nods again. “Oh, and don’t forget, on the third day there will be some of your followers coming to the tomb. You must be gone before they arrive. Are you ready for this?”

Jesus, with a far away look in his eyes, says, “Your will be done,” and then turns and walks away.

The director, standing alone now, says, “I never heard a man speak like that man.”

All the players are now in their places, and as the director sits in the director’s chair, he’s confident that things will unfold exactly as he’s planned. Surveying the scene one last time, he raises his megaphone and shouts, “Action!”

Just outside of Jerusalem, a crowd of people line the road, waving palm branches and shouting, “Hosanna to the Son of David; blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.”

Just then the director jumps out of his chair and shouts into his megaphone, “Cut! Cut! Cut! People, Jesus can’t enter Jerusalem on foot. This is his grand entrance. Who forgot the donkey?”

*The scenes in this story were all pre-written (the script), hundreds of years prior to the birth of the Messiah, with most of the prophecies coming from Isaiah 53 and Psalm 22, but also from Zechariah and others. God, the Director, and Author of the script, left nothing to chance. Everything that happened surrounding the arrest, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus, was by design. Nothing was accidental. As we celebrate Easter week, let each of us remember that the resurrection of Jesus is the culmination and fulfillment of all scripture. And because of God’s eternal plan, we who have placed our lives in Jesus’ hands have hope for a future. An eternity with God and His Son. And if you want to know the rest of God’s plan, I encourage you to read the script.

If you enjoyed this piece, you might also enjoy my book, Pondering God.

A Drowning Man

 “…and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him…” Matthew 14: 30-31

I’ve spoken with many Christians who struggle with how to present the good news (gospel) to someone not of the faith, for that is our mission. What is the best way to share your faith? Is it a specific verse? Do you need to explain all the mysteries of God? What if they challenge what you say? To simplify things, I encourage the men I talk with to personalize the good news. For who knows your story better than you? I suppose it would be best to define the terms. First, what is the good news, and second, why is it good news?

For me, the story is a simple one. At the age of twenty five I was crushed under the weight of my sin, overwhelmed with guilt and shame. I had sinned against someone I loved, against my fellow man, and against the God of the universe. I found it difficult to breathe. I lost my appetite, eventually losing twenty one pounds. I was desperate to be saved. But who or what could save me? No brilliance of mankind could save me. No self help guru. No billionaire. No amount of riches or possessions. No amount of education or learning could save me. There is only one to whom I could turn. Jesus. The truth is, Jesus is the only one who offered. For in Acts 4:12 is says of Jesus:

“And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved.”

I was underwater, drowning in my sin and unable to save myself. And unless you can walk on water, so are you my friend. The words of this old hymn describe my condition well:

 I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me– now safe am I.

Not only was there no man on earth, no pastor or priest, no amount of money, no books or wisdom, no amount of forgiveness from those I’d hurt that could save me, the truth is, there is no one else who offers salvation. It is the reason he came. It is the reason he died. Another old hymn describes my resulting exaltation well:

We have heard the joyful sound: Jesus saves! Jesus saves!
Spread the tidings all around: Jesus saves! Jesus saves!

Why do I bother to share the good news? Like all Christians, I don’t want anyone to feel in life the way I once felt. Lost, with no hope. Overwhelmed by sin and guilt and shame. “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) Maybe your sin isn’t as great as mine, but it only takes one. Why do I share the good news? Because I don’t want anyone to spend eternity in torment, excluded from the presence of God. I won’t try to browbeat you. I won’t try to force you to believe. I won’t convert you at the edge of a sword. I will simply offer my life as an example. I once was lost. Now I’m found. Never to feel the guilt and shame of my sin again. This offer from Jesus is for everyone. I’m certainly not special or deserving of saving.

The scripture at the top of this post is from Matthew, from the story of Jesus walking on water, and Peter, for a brief time joining him, only to sink beneath the waves. And like Peter, I too cried out, “Jesus, save me!” And Jesus reached out his hand.

Will you be saved? It won’t cost you a thing. The price has already been paid.

If you enjoyed this piece, you might also enjoy my book, Pondering God.

Cognitive Dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance: occurs when a person believes in two contradictory things at the same time.

I recently heard a sermon preached from the book of Hebrews that briefly touched upon this verse: “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.” -Hebrews 4:15

Him being tempted like we are, makes Jesus, our high priest, relatable to the common man, you and me. If he had sinned, he couldn’t be the perfect sacrifice for our sins and redeem us; he would be as flawed as we are. On the other hand, if he wasn’t tempted in all things as we are, our sin couldn’t be held against us and we might rightly say to him, “If you would have faced all the temptations I have faced, you would have sinned just like me.” However, he was tempted, just like us, and he didn’t sin, unlike us.

And then the preacher dropped in this verse from James: “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God’; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.” -James 1:13

This is where the speaker ran into trouble. How can this verse agree with the verse from Hebrews? If Jesus is God in the flesh, how was he tempted by sin, if God can’t be tempted? Are these two verses contradictory? The preacher did his best to explain it away and intimated that Jesus was tempted like we are in some ways, making the statement appear generally true. Which still doesn’t explain the meaning of the verse. So, here are the two questions to be answered: 1. Was Jesus God? 2. Was Jesus tempted in all things as we are?

First, was Jesus God? Through the testimony of many eyewitnesses, from the prophecies of long ago, and from the mouth of Jesus himself, we know that Jesus was both fully God and fully man.

Jesus said, “I and the Father are one,” (John 10:30) and “He who has seen Me has seen the Father.” (John 14:8). He also said, “Believe Me that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me; otherwise believe on account of the works themselves.” (John 14:11) His miracles alone proved his deity.

And referencing a prophecy from Isaiah, written more than 700 years before his birth, is this passage from Matthew: “Now all this took place that what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet (Isaiah 7:14) might be fulfilled, saying, ‘Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and shall bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,’ which translated means, ‘God with us.'” (Matthew 1:22-23)

“And she will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus (or Joshua, from the Hebrew root meaning, “the Lord is salvation“), for it is He who will save His people from their sins.” (Matthew 1:21)

“…For that which has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.” (Matthew 1:20)

This testimony from one of the twelve apostles, “Thomas answered and said to Him, ‘My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28)

There are plenty of more verses from scripture that speak of Jesus’ deity, but I will stop here. In summation, if Jesus were merely a man, I wouldn’t worship him, nor would I place my eternity in his hands. As it is, I do, and I have.

Moving on to the second question. Was Jesus tempted in all things as we are? Let’s see from scripture.

In Matthew chapter four, we see Satan (described as the tempter) tempting Jesus to test God. Taking him to the pinnacle of the temple, Satan urged Jesus, “If You are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written, ‘He will give His angels charge concerning You’; and ‘On their hands they will bear You up, lest You strike Your foot against a stone.'” Later, the tempter came at Jesus again and tempted him by promising him all the kingdoms of the world, “…if You fall down and worship me.” In each instance, Jesus did not give in to Satan’s temptation.

In the garden Jesus was tempted to thwart God’s will “…if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me;” but did not succumb to the temptation, “…yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt.” In front of Caiaphas and Pilate, Jesus was questioned and tempted to lie, knowing that if he said what these men wanted to hear, he would save himself. And yet he told the truth. While being arrested in the garden of Gethsemane, he was tempted to seek revenge and release, “Or do you not think that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will at once put at My disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” And yet he allowed himself to be arrested.

Of course, Jesus wasn’t tempted by pornography, but as a man, he was tempted by those things that have always tempted mankind. Satan is strategic, and we’re not all tempted in the same way, but if I place myself in Jesus’ shoes (sandals in this case), I can see where he was likely tempted sexually; Jesus was often surrounded by women, some of them immoral (Mary, the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery), who were physically (“…she began to wet his feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet, and anointing them with perfume” -Luke 7:37-38) and emotionally (Martha and Mary when Jesus raised their brother Lazarus from the dead -John 11) intimate with him; he was tempted to lose his temper in anger and revenge (who wouldn’t be, after being mocked, beaten and spat upon); he was tempted by wealth, power, pride; in all things tempted as we are, and yet without sin. He was tempted in the flesh (fully man), but overcame temptation in the Spirit (fully God).

Paul talks about the battle between the Spirit and the flesh in many of his writings, but this passage from Galatians 5:16-18 sums it up well: “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.” Jesus, fully God (Spirit) and fully man (flesh) was led by the Spirit and walked by the Spirit, and because of this, he did not give in to the desires of the flesh.

I’ll share one other thought on this; if God can’t be tempted, in the person of Jesus, as we are, then God surely cannot die. Yet Jesus did die (in the flesh) but he overcame that as well (by the Spirit).-Romans 8:11

If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy my book, Pondering God.

Blue Christmas

“I’ll have a blue Christmas without you
I’ll be so blue just thinking about you”

It was 2004, the year I experienced my first blue Christmas. I suppose I should feel fortunate that I was spared for so long. After all, millions of people have the Christmas blues, but generally they suffer in silence. It’s hard to notice them, what with all the sparkling lights and glitter in your eyes. My youngest son, Christopher, was a Marine at the time, and that summer, he was shipped off to war. He and his unit (2/24 Marine Reservists) were somewhere in Iraq; we weren’t allowed to know just where. But the nickname of the area where he fought, “Triangle of Death,” told us enough, and more than we wanted to know. Communication from him in those days, was spotty at best. When the holidays came that year, we knew he wasn’t coming home. I recall driving home from work and hearing on the radio, “Another Marine was killed near Fallujah today,” and wondering if it was him.

Thanksgiving came and went, and then Christmas. One day, we received a package in the mail from overseas. It was a DVD of his unit, with photos and accompanying music, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” But “Blue Christmas,” was all I heard. As his mother, older brother, and I sat around the fire, just the three of us, the music played and the lights sparkled on the tree, but we all had holes in our hearts, and the tears flowed freely. For 21 years our son had been a part of our small family and the celebration that comes around each year. But not this one. I now knew what it meant to have a heavy heart. With much prayer we got through it, and early the next year, our youngest son made it home, and he’s been with us every Christmas since. What a celebration it was when he returned home, and especially the following Thanksgiving and Christmas.

As this Christmas approaches, I find myself with a heavy heart once again. Three years ago, our oldest son died, and it’s tough when this time of year rolls around. Ron especially loved Thanksgiving and Christmas, and was always a bright spot in the celebration, and so his absence leaves a huge hole. He was the one who sat near the tree on Christmas morning and handed out everyone’s gifts, and seeing the look on his face as the presents were opened, you knew that he enjoyed each gift as much as the recipients. I recall one Christmas when he and his brother received a good chunk of money in their stockings, he was so excited he fell off the couch, overcome with joy. He loved giving gifts as much as receiving them and his gifts were usually something that came from his heart, a painting to my wife and me, or a mix of music he’d burned on a CD, created with love, just for me. I miss him, especially at Christmas. I see all of the lights and hear all of the music, but it’s hard for me to smile. Unlike his brother, Ron isn’t coming home.

Yet, in the midst of my blue Christmas, I still feel a joy inexpressible. “But Ron,” you might say, “how can you experience joy in the midst of deep sorrow?” Linus Van Pelt said it best, quoting from Luke chapter two in A Charlie Brown Christmas:  “In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.'”

It was this Jesus, who died for you and me, who promised, “In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.” (John 13:2) Jesus has gone ahead of us and prepares for us a new home. And although Ron will never again return to his earthly home, he too, has gone ahead to his heavenly one. And one day, I will join him there, and together we will worship forever the King of kings, Lord of lords, the Lamb who was worthy to be slain.

“Joy to the world, the Lord is come
Let Earth receive her King”

Joy to the world, indeed.

If you enjoyed this piece, you might also enjoy my book, Pondering God.

Mastering Our Desires

My wife and I enjoy having a quiet evening at home, sometimes reading a good book, but other times watching mysteries. We typically stay away from the current shows on television, preferring those shows that haven’t yet become overrun with pop culture and modern day sensibilities. Midsomer Murders comes to mind; a simple whodunit, often referred to as a “cozy mystery.” But no matter how hard we try, whether in books or in television shows, the post-Christian worldview seems to inevitably seep into the plot.

Recently we found a cozy mystery television show set in the late 19th century. I felt that this one, of all shows, would stay true to the plot and avoid preaching a secular worldview, but I was wrong. The first few episodes were fine, until we viewed the fifth. After a man is murdered on his wedding day, we find out that the marriage was a sham, a marriage of convenience, arranged to appease his mother so that he could inherit half of the family business, but at the last minute, he wanted out of the marriage because he was secretly in a homosexual relationship. At first, all of the references to the man’s sexual choices were in line with what you might expect from this time period. The man was initially referred to as a sodomite, amongst other slurs, but the language was softened to homosexual after a character was chastised for using the outdated term. I knew then, that the preaching was about to come.

As the murder investigation progressed, the dead man’s secret lover, who was also in a marriage of convenience, after his double life was revealed committed suicide by hanging himself. A couple of scenes later, we are treated to a heated argument between the lead detective and the female coroner, who seem to share a romantic interest. This is where the writers inject 21st century morals into a 19th century story. The detective is a devoted Catholic. How do I know? Besides it being stated in an earlier episode, he crosses himself at every murder scene, goes to confession, and prays the Rosary. She, on the other hand, is secular, driven by science and reason. The following interaction between the two characters I transcribed from the program. The dialogue, spoken by fictional characters, is a reflection of the writers’ mindset.

At the scene of the crime, while the coroner confirms the man’s death was suicide by hanging, the detective, while going through the dead man’s personal effects, says, “A beautiful home, wife, and child. Not only does he throw all that away, but he condemns himself to eternal damnation by committing suicide.”

The coroner says, “Perhaps he felt that Hell was no worse than the torment he was living in.”

The detective says, “There is always hope.”

Shaking her head and raising her voice an octave, she says, “He was living a sham. Everything was a lie. Secretly he was in love with someone he could never be with, and furthermore, that person was about to marry someone else.”

He says, “Yes, but to kill himself?”

She says, “Really, William. I’m surprised at your closed mindedness!”

He says, “Even leaving the Bible aside…”

With contempt, she says, “Yes, could we?”

He says, “It goes against nature.”

She says, “Oh, rubbish. Nature is full of omnisexual behavior. Have you never seen male dogs at play?”

He replies, “But those are dogs.”

She says, “We are all animals, William, behaving as nature intended. If God didn’t want us to express our desires, then why would he give us desires in the first place?”

He seems taken aback, and says, “To test our resolve.”

She says, “At whose expense? Surely this is not God’s plan.”

I find the coroner’s argument specious and childish. To equate two male dogs frolicking in the backyard with human homosexuality is absurd. The former is as nature intended, whereas the latter is contrary to nature. And to have this devoted Catholic at a loss for words, and to later question his faith because of her argument, invites incredulity, but that was the intent of the show’s writers after all, to have someone of faith doubt what they believe. Satan in the garden comes to mind. Yes, human beings are considered animals, but only as it differentiates us from minerals and vegetables. God created man in his own image, which distinguishes us from the remainder of the animal kingdom. We have the ability to reason. We have the ability to control our emotions and desires. God gave man many desires, one of those being a desire for sex, but he also gave us parameters for when those sexual desires are to be fulfilled. It is within marriage, that between a man and a woman, that sexual desires are to be fulfilled. Any sexual fulfillment outside of marriage is considered immoral. Not by me, but by the One who created me.

Yes, we have desires, but not all desires are good, and for this piece, I will limit my thoughts and examples to sexual desires. Many of mankind’s desires are evil. From Genesis 6:5- “Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” As you can see, our rebellion started early on. What would society be like if every man and woman went about fulfilling their every desire, no matter the consequence? If there is no standard, and we simply behave like unreasoning animals, who’s to say what is right and wrong? The end result of that thinking is that there are no universal moral principles, a mindset often referred to as moral relativism. My guess is that everyone will place a limit on behavior to some degree. At some point, everyone will recognize some behaviors as going too far. Below are scenarios of behaviors that are driven by human sexual desire. Which ones are acceptable to you? Of which of these do you approve?

Scenario 1: A man and a woman are married, and on their honeymoon they engage in sexual intercourse, fulfilling their desires and consummating their marriage.

Scenario 2: A man, growing bored with his wife’s lack of interest in all things sexual, pays a prostitute to fulfill his sexual desires.

Scenario 3: A woman, whose husband is out of town during the week, finds her married, next door neighbor attractive, and to fulfill her sexual and emotional desires, she secretly begins a sexual affair with him.

Scenario 4: A Catholic priest, unwilling to fulfill his vow of celibacy, is attracted to an altar boy and entices him to have sex, and over the next thirty years he has sexual relations with over 100 such boys.

Scenario 5: A man, living alone, searches the internet for ways to fulfill his sexual desires, spending countless hours viewing pornography, visiting chat rooms, and engaging in virtual sex.

Scenario 6: A man, unattracted to the opposite sex, finds a likeminded partner of the same sex, and the two of them live together and fulfill their sexual desires with one another.

Scenario 7: A man, living alone and no longer finding satisfaction in online pornography, finds fulfillment for his sexual desires in his pet dogs.

Scenario 8: A high school boy and girl are attracted to one another and begin dating. They often find themselves alone. On one such occasion, they succumb to their sexual desires and engage in sexual intercourse.

Scenario 9: Rich and powerful men, in secret, fly to a private island to have sex with underage boys and girls, thus fulfilling their sexual desires. [Notice the secrecy stated or implied in many of the above scenarios.]

Which of the above scenarios did you find disgusting? Why? To which did you give your approval? Who determines which one is disgusting or acceptable? If you asked one hundred people those questions, would you get the same response? There are some in our society who find homosexuality acceptable. There are some who find pedophilia acceptable. There are some who find bestiality acceptable. There are some who find marital infidelity acceptable. There are some who find premarital sex acceptable. Since not everyone agrees on which is acceptable and which isn’t, where does that leave us? Do what is right in our own eyes? Say yes to all of our sexual desires? Or exhibit self control and harness our desires? God has given us an outlet for our sexual desires. When we choose other outlets, we are in effect saying to God, “What you’ve given me is not enough. I want more.”

The truth is, man can’t be depended upon to determine what is right, for we are corrupt in our fleshly natures, and where our evil desires lead us will end in death. James said it this way, from James 1:13-15 (NKJV): “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am tempted by God’; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.” The culture in which we live has done its best to remove all moral boundaries, especially in the area of sexual desire, by doing what the character in the show suggested, “leaving the Bible aside,” which has created a society of chaos and confusion. Which may explain the escalating suicide rate among the youth.

I, too, once lived a life of fulfilling my every desire as I saw fit, regardless of the desire or whether it was considered moral, and not caring what God or his word had to say. My desires were my masters. Many of the nine scenarios above, I have lived. But I was convicted of my sin against God and my fellow man, and sought a savior in his Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus has not only forgiven me, but he’s placed me on a path that pleases God, and now, rather than seek to fulfill my every desire, I strive to fulfill his.

In a later scene from the show, while the detective is in confession, he says to the priest, “Two men dead, by all accounts good men, condemned to eternal damnation…” And then after stating that he can no longer follow his faith blindly, the detective says, “I imagine a world that is more compassionate, and enlightened.” I find the priest’s response ironic, especially considering the scandals that rocked the Catholic church in the latter half of the 20th century and beyond. Considering that more enlightened world, a world in which homosexuality is no longer frowned upon, a world in which many of us now find ourselves, the priest said, “Some day it may be. Perhaps not in our lifetime.” As if God is pliable. As if God changes his nature to match our standards, rather than the other way around. “Just give Him time, He’ll come around.”

Regarding the relationship between you and your desires, the question becomes, which of you is the puppet and which is the puppet master?

If you liked this piece, you may also enjoy my book, Pondering God.

Judgment Day

“The Father’s arms are open wide.”

It came about in those days that the sons and daughters of man gathered before the judgment seat of Christ, to present themselves to the Lord and give an accounting for their lives. My days on earth had ended, and I found myself in a place like heaven, a vast place with no sky above, and a hard surface beneath my feet, with the appearance of white sapphire under my left foot and onyx under my right. Off to my right was an expansive darkness, and to my left was a brightness that pained my eyes if I gazed too long, and yet it attracted me just the same.  

I stood in a long line of people, at the place where darkness meets light, with myriads of people in front and many more behind. The line in both directions stretched into the distance, eventually disappearing on the horizon. Many of those around me carried vessels in their arms, while others dragged or pulled various articles, large and small, behind them. What they contained, I didn’t know. Many of the others in line, like myself, came empty-handed. A nervousness pervaded the multitude, as each individual proceeded forward, anticipating the inevitable encounter awaiting them at the front of the line. 

Eventually, the line dwindled, and I drew close enough to see a figure in the near distance. His head and His hair were white like white wool, like snow; and His eyes were like a flame of fire; and his feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been caused to glow in a furnace, and His voice was like the sound of many waters. No one needed to tell me his identity. I knew. Jesus. More beautiful and awesome than my earthly imagination had ever conjured.

When each person finally stood before him, although I was too far away to hear what was said, a brief conversation ensued, and then each person set forth, many to Jesus’ left (my right), into the outer darkness, and some to his right, into the radiant light. Those heading into the darkness left his presence with head and shoulders bowed, and the sound of wailing trailed behind them as they eventually faded into black. In contrast, those entering into the light did so singing a new song, joyful and exuberant.

At one point, there remained in front of me only three men. The first man stepped up to the Lord and laid a sealed glass jar at Jesus’ feet. “Forgive me of my sins,” I heard him say, “for they are few.” Then Jesus pointed to his left and said, “Depart from me, for I never knew you.” The man bowed his head and shuffled off, into the dark.

The second man, pushing a wheelbarrow, approached Jesus, and dumped the contents of the wheelbarrow at his feet. “Pardon me sir, for my sins have burdened me for far too long, and I seek your forgiveness.” Again, Jesus said, “Depart from me, for I never knew you.” And the man went away grieved.

The third man, struggling with a huge trunk, dragged it behind him and then dropped it at Jesus’ feet. “Forgive me,” he said, “for although my sins are many, with this trunk barely able to contain them all, I have still sinned far less than many others more evil than me.” For the third time, Jesus said to the man, “Depart from me and go to the place prepared for Satan and his demons. I never knew you.” This man also went away dejected.

Seeing what had happened to these three men, left me heartbroken. For I knew that the measure of my sins exceeded them all. Resigned to my fate, I stepped out of line and started off, into the darkness alone. Before I’d gone too far, a voice thundered behind me, “Where are you going, my son?”

I turned, and found the Lord standing very near to me, so close I could reach out and touch him. I fell to my face, with tears streaming down my cheeks. “Please forgive me,” I cried.

Not daring to look up, I sensed his presence as Jesus knelt beside me, and then, gently he lifted me to my feet. As I stood before him, I trembled. He said, “Why did you leave the line and not come before me?” 

I stammered, “When I saw the other men, and what happened to them, I knew my sin was far greater than theirs. Not a jar’s worth, or a wheelbarrow, or even a trunk could hold them all. No, my sins would fill an entire boxcar.”

Jesus said, “You are right my son, it would take a boxcar.”

Just then, a train whistle sounded in the distance, and the rumble of the train’s wheels grew louder as it drew near. When the train engine pulled up beside us, it came to a hissing stop. Trailing behind the engine was one lone boxcar. Jesus took me by the hand and led me beside the train, and then to the boxcar door. As he slid the door open, I peered inside. Empty. My mouth hung open in shock. Where had all my sins gone? Jesus pointed to the boxcar. On a plaque affixed to the side of the railcar, were these words:  

Ron Bay

Sins Forgiven

December 1982

Tears of joy filled my eyes, and once again I fell at the Master’s feet. And once again he knelt beside me. He said, “Do you now understand?” Still confused, I hesitated, and so he explained. “Those three men, and all the others, bringing their sins before me on this judgment day, sought forgiveness too late. For all the years they lived on earth their sins meant nothing to them, and they ignored the salvation I offered. They chose to live life on earth apart from me, and so, they will spend eternity the same.”

I said, “And those in line, the empty-handed, what about them?”

Jesus said, “Like you, they recognized their sin during their lifetime on earth, and sought forgiveness in me. They came empty-handed because their sins were forgiven and I remembered them no more.”

I was speechless, but couldn’t move, unsure of what came next. Jesus smiled, pointed to his right, and said, “What are you waiting for? Go, enter into the joy of your Master.”

And so I did, skipping and singing as I journeyed into the light.

I pondered these things for a week or more, prior to putting my thoughts to paper. The sermon this morning was on Hebrews chapter one, focusing on the preeminence of Jesus Christ. Fitting I suppose, since without him, I too would end up spending eternity apart from God. The final song this morning was also fitting, and as thoughts of Jesus, redemption, the weight of my sin, and his wonderful grace flooded my mind, I found this chorus difficult to sing, with tears of joy, not sorrow, choking my voice.

O come to the altar

The Father’s arms are open wide

Forgiveness was bought with

The precious blood of Jesus Christ

Which led me to another line in the song:

Oh, what a Savior

Isn’t He wonderful?

Sing hallelujah, Christ is risen

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.” -2 Corinthians 5:10

If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my book, Pondering God.

A Crying Shame

“Because He first loved me.”

Recently, I read an article about a man who was publicly exposed in a sin, and the writer of the article made sure to emphasize how despicable the act was. When I read these words, “How could that man do such a thing?” shame washed over me. For I too had once committed a similar sin. In my case, thankfully, my sin remained hidden, and has now for more than fifty years. I take no pride in what I’ve done, the many times I’ve sinned against God. Quite the contrary, I only feel shame. Truth be told, I have many other skeletons in my closet, that if exposed, would bring me much embarrassment and ridicule. In my heart, I know I’ve been forgiven. David wrote in Psalm 103:11-12, “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Praise God for his grace!

But still, the images of my sin remain in my mind, locked away, never to see the light of day. I can do nothing to remove them, and sometimes the memories of what I’ve done return. I’ve thought of what it would feel like to have all my sins exposed, like the man in the article, me standing naked before the world. It seems that most of the sins I commit, or have committed, are of the hidden variety, but even though they may be hidden from man, they are not hidden from God, the one I’ve sinned against. The sobering reality is, God knows my every deed and thought. Hebrews 4:13, “ And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.” After reading the article, I began pondering God, and soon a story from scripture came to my mind. It seems there was an “immoral woman,” with much to be ashamed of, who came to Jesus. What she did, is written in Luke 7:36-50.

Jesus was invited to dine in a Pharisee’s home. A woman in the city, described as a sinner (and who wasn’t?), or an “immoral woman,” (indicating sexual sin) found out Jesus would be eating at the man’s home, and so she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, and while Jesus reclined at the table, scripture says, “…and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet, and anointing them with the perfume.” What a beautiful picture this is. Why would she do that? Why would she weep at Jesus’ feet? I believe I know, because I too have wept tears of repentance at the feet of my redeemer. And I look forward to the day I can meet him face to face in heaven, when he will wipe away all my tears. Like the man who wrote the article, the Pharisee was disgusted by this immoral woman, and shocked that Jesus would allow her, a sinner, to touch him. This woman’s sins had been exposed to the world. Everyone knew she was a sinner. But Jesus, knowing the man’s thoughts, confronted him with a parable.

Jesus said to the Pharisee, “A certain moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. Which of them therefore will love him more?” The man guessed correctly when he said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.” Jesus commended the man for answering correctly, and turning toward the woman, he said to the man, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Jesus then said to the woman, “Your sins have been forgiven.

This woman knew who she was. A hopeless sinner. She came to Jesus for just that reason; she needed forgiveness for the sins in her life, the many sins that would not leave her mind. She was forgiven much. I too have been forgiven much. Jesus has forgiven my innumerable sins, most of which man will never know, which is why I love him so. As Paul wrote in Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” And that is why I sing this song, with tears in my heart:

O how I love Jesus,
O how I love Jesus,
O how I love Jesus,
because he first loved me!

If you enjoyed this article, you might also enjoy my book, Pondering God.

A Prodigal Son

 

It was a year and a half ago when I received the call, November 15, 2020. The officer on the phone informed me that they had found my son dead in his apartment that morning. Ron was forty. It was later confirmed, and what I suspected, that he died of a heroin/fentanyl overdose. Although the news shocked and stunned me, it wasn’t a surprise. Because he had struggled with drugs for several years, the fear of this event was always at the back of my mind. It was an accident in the sense that he didn’t intend for the drugs to kill him. But it wasn’t an accident in the sense that when you play Russian Roulette often enough, a bullet will fill the cylinder at some point. I loved my son dearly and will always miss him. He left behind a wonderful daughter, and beautiful artwork, poetry, and music. These things will ensure he will never be forgotten.

Although believing in Jesus and being baptized at the age of twelve, he wandered away from the Church, if not from his faith, as a teenager. Since he was a very sensitive soul, when other kids teased and bullied him, it affected him deeply. It may be why he was such a kind person. He would never hurt someone as others had hurt him. As I’ve written, it was Ron who taught me compassion, kindness, mercy, and to see others, especially the “least of these,” through a more sympathetic lens. As he did. As Jesus did. For that I will always be grateful.

Ron struggled with demons throughout his adult life, both the physical and spiritual kind. Paul described the spiritual warfare around us in Ephesians chapter six, saying, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” The cute version of this is the picture of a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, both whispering in a person’s ear. But this battle for Ron was real, and it wasn’t pretty, and unlike the cute version, this war raged within his soul.

As Paul described in Romans 7:18-19, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the wishing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish,” Ron knew the right thing to do, but too often he surrendered to his desires. This physical vs. spiritual battle that goes on within all of us, was magnified in him, likely because he was such a sensitive soul.

Although these behaviors were self-destructive, they unfortunately had a negative effect on those around him, especially those who loved him. Drugs were his weakness, and whenever he succumbed to temptation, quenching the Holy Spirit, he opened the door to Satan’s demons. And when the demons took residence and squeezed out God’s Spirit, the tension was palpable when we shared a room together. When he wasn’t using, he and I got along great, and the real Ron, the one I had always known, was a pleasure to be around. A demon’s goal upon entering a human is to destroy them, as we saw with the demon possessed souls that Jesus encountered, and so too with Ron. Drugs will and do destroy.

When I think of Ron, I often think of the Prodigal Son parable that Jesus taught in Luke chapter fifteen. Ron also left his home, both physically and spiritually, and engaged in “loose living.” While he was away, unlike the prodigal in the parable, he would often return home to visit, or I would visit him, and we often communicated via email and phone. And although the parable didn’t mention the father praying for his son, it was implied and certainly something I did daily. And even though away from us, he was never not a part of this family, he was always my son, as was the prodigal in the parable always his father’s son, no matter the distance. Below is an email communication between Ron and me, from 2008, that sheds some light on our relationship and on his mindset. Here is the email I sent and then Ron’s response:

Sons,

Monday night we finished up Matthew with the resurrection of Christ and everything that means to Christians everywhere. The challenge for me for the next 20 weeks is to not lose focus and waver in my commitment. Pray for me.

During the lecture, the speaker said something that really got me thinking. I’ve often heard people say things like, “God has a purpose for you,” or “There’s a purpose for your life.” When I heard those phrases, I often wondered what that meant for me personally. The phrase I heard on Monday night was a little different. He said, “You were saved for a purpose.” Now, that really made me think.

So, Jesus is in the boat and I’m in the ocean treading water, trying to keep my head above water, drowning, and he reaches into the water and pulls me into the boat and says, “I’m saving you, not so you can go back to living the life you were living, but I’ve saved you for a purpose, my purpose.” This, of course, made me go into God’s word, since I am a curious little creature, and do some digging. I found quite a few scriptures that support the phrase uttered by the speaker.

2 Timothy 1:8-9- “Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, or of me His prisoner; but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us, and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from eternity…”  

Philippians 2:13- “…for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”

1 Corinthians 6:19-20- “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.”  

Ephesians 2:10- “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

I’ve heard people say, “What is God’s purpose for me?” That seems like a good question, on the surface. A better question would be, “What is God’s purpose and how do I fit in?” Read the Great Commission from Mark 16 and Matthew 28 to get an idea.

Here is Ron’s response:

dad, this email got me thinking to, i’m always
questioning what is my purpose, and i’m praying for
him to show me, as for you i think one of your
purposes is to do what you’re doing, you always send
these emails and dad, you are my link to God, without
you, i would not constantly be reminded of the word or
God for that matter, i am thankful that you write to
me and peep (his brother’s nickname), sharing your faith and challenging us to
think and question ours, dad i’m thankful for you and
i want you to realize that you help me with my
spiritual struggles, i’m probably the worst christian,
christ has ever saved, but just know that it is you
that helps me stay on the path and you that holds the
flashlight so i can return when i get lost in the
darkness, please pray for me and never give up hope, i
love you and am thankful that i have the parents that
i do, when i think about it i’m lucky to have you and
christ to carry me to my eternal home, and also force
me to walk on my own when i need to, please pray for
me and keep helping me with my faith, i love you dad
and i’ll talk to you soon,
your son,
rb3

We had many exchanges like this over the years. When he responded like he did above, I knew he wasn’t on drugs. When he didn’t respond, I also knew he was. I never gave up hope, but I think at times, Ron did. His art and music and poetry reflected his internal struggle, the realities of life and death, of God and Satan, of heaven and hell. He often spoke of dying young. In this email from early 2020, after a blow up and extended separation, he makes his feelings clear:

Dear Dad,
Hello father, it’s been a while.  The last time we spoke was about the lowest point I’ve ever been in my life.  Although, I don’t disagree with what you said (we’ll get to that in a minute) , the timing of the whole thing was very bad.
I am a recovering heroin addict. That moment when you and mom helped me was my rock bottom turning point.  And I need all the positivity I could get, i had enough of tearing myself down convincing myself to keep getting high. That’s why I got so angry with you. I was at a crossroads once again in life, should I follow death, or lead a life. My internal personal struggles, most of my life with mental illness then addiction, has been a burden that I bared, to my own personal turmoil and the detriment to those around me.
No one has put up with more of my bullshit (pardon the term) than you and mom. I know that. I don’t know what to say.  Both of you have shown me endless love just to have me repeatedly disappoint you guys.
I have been such an extremely selfish person. I have manipulated to get what I want.  I have hurt both you and mom more times than I can count or even remember. My life, has been a constant pain in the ass for the both of you. Drama after drama. Pain, sorrow and hopelessness. I hope as time goes by we can have a better relationship. I know all it will take is for you to see me sober and happy.
Dad, I’m sorry for losing your records. That’s one thing I wanted to tell you. It hurts me to know that I hurt you like that. I know ‘sorry’s’ and ‘I’m clean’ all those words have worn thin and lost their meanings. It’s a strange position to be in and I’ve been in it a lot, but to not be able to properly voice your remorse for your actions, well its something I’m trying to deal with.
I love you dad, and I’m thankful that you are my father, I would not want any other one. Dad, I’m trying and I’m doing good. I’m a great father, and I have been given a last chance. I’m 40 and if I fall back into dope, it’ll kill me cause I don’t have another withdrawal period in me, it would destroy all I’m now working towards, and take away all that makes me who I am.
Well, talk more, it’s 2am and I should try to sleep, Caras coming over tomorrow. But, I just wanted to open a line of communication between us , and hear your thoughts and your view on this whole pandemic thing.
I love you dad.
Your oldest son,
Ron 3

So, what does it all mean? And where is Ron now? Before I answer that, I’ll share a few words from scripture. From John 10:26-29, Jesus said, “’But you do not believe, because you are not of My sheep. My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they shall never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.’” Ron believed in Jesus from a young age. They shall never perish. Hmmm. Let’s read further.

Jesus also said in Matthew 10:28, “’And do not fear those who kill the body, but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.’” Ron understood this concept intuitively and it came out in his writings. Here are two lines from a poem he wrote titled “redemption.”

the devil growled and struck the ground, releasing a mighty heat
“it’s too late for you to leave, because your body belongs to me”

And later in the same poem as an answer:

the angel said that the beast was six, but i was made with seven
your body can stay in the valley, but your soul belongs in heaven

Satan did indeed destroy Ron’s body, but he couldn’t have his soul. It belongs, and always has belonged, to Jesus. The past couple of years, in my daily prayers for Ron, I prayed, “Father, drive out his demons and fill him with your Holy Spirit.” I believe God answered that prayer. When Ron breathed his last, the broken body he once occupied stayed in the valley, but his spirit went to heaven. The prodigal son finally made it home to his father. My favorite painting of Ron’s is below. He didn’t title it, but I’ve named it “Given to Fly,” after the Pearl Jam song, and in the vein of a song he once covered, “I’ll Fly Away.”

To answer my earlier question, where is Ron now? I believe Ron is in “Abraham’s bosom,” no longer in pain, no longer tormented, no longer struggling with life. At peace in the presence of the Lord. And because I know what I know, so am I.

*This piece is the final chapter in my book, Pondering God. This also represents the final chapter of the first forty years of my life following the Lord. The next chapter has begun. Let the writing resume.

Why Pray?

The sermon this past Sunday was titled “The Persistent Widow,” and focused on the parable Jesus taught in Luke 18:1-8. In the parable, Jesus related a story of a woman who sought justice from an unrighteous judge, a judge who was inclined to ignore the woman, but because of her persistence, he relented and gave her what she asked. The man’s words say it all, about himself and the woman (Luke 18:4-5): “Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, lest by continually coming she wear me out.” This man didn’t relent out of the goodness of his heart, but only gave in to the woman’s request because she had finally worn him out. But since God is good, unlike this judge, why would he require us to continually bring him the same prayer, over and over? Wouldn’t once be enough? And why pray at all, when Jesus said in Matthew 6:7-8, “And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition, as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. Therefore do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need, before you ask him.” If God knows already, why bug him and waste either of our time? And are repeated prayers the same as meaningless repetition? Why pray persistently? Why pray at all? I’ll answer the first why, and then the second.

I recall the first time I read this parable. I didn’t question it, the idea of praying for something over and over again, although there are plenty of reasons why I might. I took Jesus at his word. In reviewing my prayer card, there are several that I’ve included in my prayers for many years. The faith of my two sons, now my one son, and my grandkids have been persistent prayers for me, and will be until I die. I will never stop praying for them. But there is one name on my prayer card that I’ve been praying for since I became a Christian. He’s a schoolmate of mine from junior high. Growing up together, we discussed God and creation on many occasions, and he always declared his agnosticism. Although my prayer for him has changed somewhat over the years, it has always been about his salvation. That he would be saved. Even though we seldom see one another or communicate, over the years I’ve written him letters, declaring my faith and my desire for him to come to the Lord. I’ve been praying for him for over forty years. But why do I persist? Some would say, “He’s set in his ways, there’s nothing you can do to change him. Just give up.” But that’s it, isn’t it? That’s the whole point. There is nothing I can do to change Andy’s heart. Only the Lord can make that kind of change in a person. Jeremiah 32:27 says, “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for me?” I think not. To who else can I take my concerns for my friend? For that matter, when I review my prayer card, I notice that on the entire list, there isn’t a single one of my prayers, either circumstances or names, that I can change in the least. That’s why I bring them to God. For he is faithful. Which is the other reason why I persist. Because I have faith that God will honor my prayers.

James wrote about prayer. When encouraging us to ask God for wisdom, he wrote in James 1:6-8, “But let him ask in faith without doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” If I didn’t think God could change the heart of my friend, or increase the faith of my son and grandchildren, those prayers would have fallen off my list long ago. They remain because I have faith in the God in whom “all things are possible.” James also wrote, in James 5:16, “The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” If Elijah’s prayers stopped the rain, and then after a long drought started the rain up again, then why should I shrink back and not view my prayers the same. My current prayer for Andy has been taken from several scriptures: “Father, I pray that Andy would bow his knee and confess with his tongue that Jesus is the Christ, to your glory and before it’s too late. That he would leap for joy and proclaim, “My Lord and my God,” upon meeting Jesus (like Thomas of old). And that he would share the good news with me on that day, to encourage me in my prayers.” I don’t know when, or if I will even be alive, but I trust the Lord, and have placed my friend’s redemption in his hands.

So, I’ve answered the first why question, but what about the other? Why pray at all? One reason to pray is because God desires it. Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Another reason to pray is because Jesus modeled and encouraged it. Luke 5:16 says this about Jesus, “But He Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.” And in Luke 6:12, it says this about Jesus, “And it was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God.” Jesus prayed often and prayed persistently. Unlike the pagans, who thought their many words would sway or please God, Jesus, being in tune with his Father, prayed God’s will, consistently and persistently. Many words? Yes. Babbling? No. If Jesus devoted so much time to prayer, shouldn’t we also?

We pray because the Lord God Almighty is able to do things that we can’t. As I mentioned earlier, if I could change anything in the lives of those on my prayer list, they wouldn’t be on my prayer list. We pray because it humbles us. Bowing our head in prayer puts God in his rightful place, and us in ours. We pray to honor him, to thank him, to praise him. We’re like a three year old boy holding the Dr. Seuss book up to his earthly father, “Daddy, would you read to me? Please?” because the child can’t do it for himself. We pray because it changes us. We begin to align our desires with God’s. We stop praying for things and begin praying for people. We stop praying for earthly things and begin praying for heavenly ones.

Why do we pray? Because, deep inside of us is a desire for an intimate relationship with the creator of the universe. A desire to communicate with God, like he intended from the beginning. I find it interesting that immediately after Jesus told his followers that God knows what you need before you ask him, he taught them how to pray. Matthew 6:9, “Pray then in this way; ‘Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.'”

If you enjoyed this piece, maybe you would also enjoy my book, Pondering God.